The Waterman's Kiss
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©  Janie Meneely


Come all ye fair young mermaids if you'd keep your chastity
Don't ever kiss a waterman who sails upon the sea
For kissing leads to trouble and don't I know it well
But if you doubt, then hear me out, my story I will tell:
My mother was a mermaid, and my father was a tonger
He fell into the water and he thought he was a goner
My ma she ups and saves him, so he kissed her gratefully
And nine months later, along comes little old me
His kiss sure packed a whallop and it caught Ma by surprise
She didn't know what hit her till she looked me in the eyes
She said if she'd a known what's what she'd a never puckered up
And she'd have left him swimming there just plain out of luck
Chorus:
So twist off the cap, Jack, and let's all have a swig
Here's to the jolly waterman who's neither prude nor prig
Here's to the jolly mermaid and to her progeny
Here's to the fish-eyed baby, a'bouncing on my knee

Now Pop he kept his workboat right there on Cabin Creek
And now and then my ma would take me up to have a peek
And there I spied a waterman whose charm did so beguile
I swam along beside his boat to ply my winsome wiles
"Hey there Sailor, you are so strong and tall
I wonder if you'd escort me to the mermaids' ball."
"Mermaids don't have balls," he said, "you are not telling true."
"Of course we don't," I answered, "that's why we're inviting you."
To prove to him I was sincere, I found him oysters plenty
I filled his boot with pirate loot and gold from sunken gentry
His pockets full of money, why he had no qualms at all
And said he'd gladly escort me to the mermaids ball
So twist off the cap, Jack, and let's all have a swig
Here's to the jolly waterman who's neither prude nor prig
Here's to the jolly mermaid and to her progeny
Here's to the fish-eyed baby, a'bouncing on my knee

Now all the other mermaids thought that he was quite the dish
And they made sure his boat was always full of crabs and fish
My waterman was grateful and to prove he was no churl
He'd never miss to give a kiss to every mermaid girl
Maybe it's the oysters that he gobbled by the score
Maybe it's the hormones pouring out of every pore
But what a kiss he gave us all, 'twas really quite the spree
Now each of us has got a baby bouncing on our knee
So twist off the cap, Jack, and let's all have a swig
Here's to the jolly waterman who's neither prude nor prig
Here's to the jolly mermaid and to her progeny
Here's to the fish-eyed baby, a'bouncing on my knee


So twist off the cap, Jack, and let's all have a swig
Here's to the jolly waterman who's neither prude nor prig
Here's to the jolly mermaid and to her progeny
And if you see that waterman, give him a kiss for me.